Me: I am woman. I am mother. I am Wonder Woman.
Also me: I don't know what the heck I'm doing.
While doing research for this new series, I found a few intriguing info-graphics on the millennial mother. (Millennials being broadly categorized as people born between 1981-2001.) This particular info-graphic though, it struck several chords within me. It didn't just kind of describe me...it came pretty close to a crystal clear reflection of my digital self. And the frightening thing is, the more I think about it, I have a hard time figuring out if there are other parts of me, or whether I have become wholly digitalized. I don't know for sure if I exist substantially outside of the touchscreen-flat screen realm. I hope I can explain myself properly today, because I think my predicament is not exclusive to The Orchid Blooms. I worry that it might be an epidemic among us, the Millennial Moms.
Her heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world.
Yesterday in the car, my son and I were having a conversation about fear. He was struggling with something and I was telling him that being brave isn't the absence of fear. I told him that every time he does the thing he is afraid to do, he is being brave; and after a while he'll start to realize that the fear isn't that big a deal anymore. And that one day, that thing he was at first truly frightened to do, will be relatively easy. I reminded him about the first few attempts at riding his bike without his training wheels; he was so scared we had to put them back on for a couple of months. Then we took them off again, and he was brave. Now he flies like the wind on that bike.
I told him, that God never gave us a spirit of fear. That Jesus dwells in His heart because he is a little boy who has believed in Him. That means He was never alone, and could call on God 24/7 for strength, and courage. He listened intently, albeit through tears as he was contemplating the fearsome thing he had to do. Then we said a quick prayer.
Later in the day, on the way home, he said to me, " Mama, today I was brave. And I even prayed in my heart for God to help me."
Happy New Year folks!
I've missed you...if that makes any sense :D. I've come to know so many of you, and had some incredible conversations. Hearing time and time again of a person's pain so similar to mine, and how God has shone light into people's hearts through my own dark valley, well...there's nothing quite like it. Thank you for the comments and emails, you've given me perspective, encouraged me deeply and made me cry tears of joy. Keep 'em coming :).
Keeping it short today.
In December, we remember.
We remember our wedding day. God has blessed us with 5 beautiful years now.
Our vows have been lived out in reverse. The worse came before the better. The poorer came before the richer. The sickness came before the health. Yet G0d has sustained our marriage, filling it with His peace and joy.
We remember our son, whom we never got to meet. He would have turned two this month. The grief, I'm not sure it will ever go. It feels like a tattoo on our hearts. But our experience of it changes slowly. This year I found myself grateful.
Grateful that the good Lord showed us great kindness in giving us a child. A child with eternity written on his heart, who I shall see and live with forever on that great day.
Grateful that He walked me through the valley of the shadow of death, bringing me safe into the light of His truth once again.
Grateful for the unspeakable love that grew between Bryan and I as we navigated the dark and frigid waters of grief.
I am most grateful for the deep knowledge of my Saviour that I now have. Nothing opens the eyes of your heart to the majesty, sovereignity and great love of God, like suffering does. I would never give this up, not for a moment.
In December we remember God becoming man. I have been speechless this year trying to thank God for His Son Jesus and His great sacrifice on the Cross, dying the death I deserved to die and ressurecting so that I may live in His ressurection, for all eternity with Him.
It's been a beautiful month for my husband as well, having being recognized as one of the top 40 under 40 businessmen in East Africa, two weeks before his 30th birthday. And finally, he joins me in the 30's...I've endured his cradle snatcher jokes for too long, LOL.
Happy Holidays guysThank you for the gift you have given me this year, reading what I write, sharing oyur experiences with me, and becoming my friends.
No longer will there be a curse upon anything. For the throne of God and of the Lamb will be there, and his servants will worship him. 4 And they will see his face, and his name will be written on their foreheads.5 And there will be no night there—no need for lamps or sun—for the Lord God will shine on them. And they will reign forever and ever.
Here's some of our wedding pictures 5 years ago.
(might need to copy-paste into your searchbar if it doesn't come up as a link.)
Christian, wife, mom, doctor, and an alien on earth, on my way to the city of God.