I'm just going take a deep breath and start this series. It's one I begin reluctantly because of many reasons.
The first and most important is that marriage is a sacred institution; God alone is it's architect. Please pray for me that I'll approach my articles in all humility and brokenness. I'm going to need His wisdom with every word I type. The last thing I would want is to give you misconceptions of what marriage is, and have you misunderstand God's purposes for the union between a man and his wife.
The second reason is that I've only been married five years. That's a drop in the ocean right? What do I know? Not much at all to be honest, but the trials we have endured together (which you can read about in the first four posts on the blog September-October 2016), gave us quite the crash course in sticking together in the face of grief, uncertainty and mental disease among other issues that I'll be writing about in the series. It's been ridiculously more than we had expected to happen in the first few years together.
The third reason is that I worry about making this about myself. Sounds confusing because, yes, it will be about my husband and I, but let me explain. In the few months I've been writing here at The Orchid Blooms, my life has changes somewhat. A lot of people that I don't know personally, now know my name. I get messages from people thanking me for sharing our story because they completely relate; some gushing about me and my 'perfect' family, and it's like walking a tight rope for me. I'm always fighting within myself. My natural reaction is to feel really good about myself, you know? I feel validated, kinda special; and pride about my husband and two kids starts to lick at my feet like flames. Fame, however inconsequential, is an enemy to the Christian walk. See, you find yourself liking it, and wanting even more people to know who you are; your motives become indiscernible; you're driving in heavy rain without your wipers on. On the one hand, you desire to share your work; you genuinely want to encourage and bolster people's faith in God and glorify the Father in heaven. This is right. But I think it's foolish to deny the pride and self exaltation forever lurking in the shadows; hiding in the wings. Denying it means it continues to bind you in its alluring tentacles, and you see no reason to repent. The verse 'He must increase, but I must decrease' begins to be lived in reverse. This is a problem; a grave one.
In the "about me" section, I have a quote at the bottom by a Christian called John Newton. He says, "I thank the Lord if He makes my writings useful. I hope that they contain some of his truths; and truth like a torch ,may be seen by its own light, without reference to the hand that holds it."
That's my prayer for this series in particular; it's a sensitive one. Hopefully at the end of it, you'll have learnt two things: that the 'perfect Wambui' inadvertently presented in my writing at times is a phantom. And, most importantly I hope you learn about God and why He created marriage; what it really means. For this series I'm going to ask you guys to email me about experiences in your own marriage as we go along. I'm eager to learn from others wiser than myself, and if you allow me, I'll share your stories, changing your names for anonymity. Please share my blog widely; send to all your friends:
-To those considering marriage.
-To those skeptical about it because of the marriages they have been exposed to.
-To those already married, happily so or struggling significantly.
-To those who got burned by it and never want to look back.
I'd like very much to hear from you guys; whichever category above you fit into.
Lastly, you'll be hearing from my husband as well! He's agreed to contribute his side of things with the incredible gusto of a cat being thrown into a tub of water, LOL.
Well then *deep breath* here we go...
My people, hello.
I've been quiet due to laptop issues, and what I guess was writer's block. January is just tough eh? And what is with this Nairobi heat? And dust, everywhere? Sigh. We are where we are, rejoice in all things.
So. You've heard it said; you felt it yourself. It's all fun and games until the jeans don't fit anymore. The memory Facebook sent me yesterday was a picture from three years ago. It was five months after I had given birth to our son, and I was holding up a skipping rope, starting the journey back to my pre-pregnancy weight. If you've been keeping up with the posts, you know my efforts have been curtailed by various blindsides. I found it ironic that I logged onto Facebook and saw the picture right after my workout yesterday. I'm in the exact same situation again, working to shed the baby weight after a second delivery.
I got serious about this in October last year, got 10kg off by New Years. The wheels came off in December though. I think we had four or five barbeques at our house in that one month. Then there was the family Christmas party. There was our wedding anniversary holiday. There was my husband's birthday cake. And then my mom's birthday cake. Let's not forget the takeout!
Happy New Year folks!
I've missed you...if that makes any sense :D. I've come to know so many of you, and had some incredible conversations. Hearing time and time again of a person's pain so similar to mine, and how God has shone light into people's hearts through my own dark valley, well...there's nothing quite like it. Thank you for the comments and emails, you've given me perspective, encouraged me deeply and made me cry tears of joy. Keep 'em coming :).
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Now comes the hard part. Talking about the blood, sweat and tears.
I had a phone call a month ago with an old friend of mine. I called her to get some explanation of what could possibly be happening to our mutual friends' marriages. So many had fallen apart; some separated, some divorced. I met one at a mall after not seeing her for a couple of years and we were so happy to have bumped into each other. As we parted, I hugged her and said, "Say hi to hubby for me". I pulled away and her eyes had filled with tears. They hadn't made it.
Friends our age, Christians we grew up with, married, between 1-7 years. I didn't want gossip; I wasn't interested in the reasons for the break ups. I was just so sad, and so scared. What is happening to us?
Christian, wife, mom, doctor, and an alien on earth, on my way to the city of God.